his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
