She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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