Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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