Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
