You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
ttyl tear gas
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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