I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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