D3 body, D1 cock
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
