then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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