So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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