i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
