i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
