Taylor Swift is so right about you.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
