i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
