Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
