You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
