the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
