omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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