I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
