i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
