Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
