so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
