Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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