I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
