thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
