i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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