i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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