So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
