Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
