Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
