Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
