i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
