Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize