guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
