just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
