The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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