i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
