new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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