so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
