We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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