oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
