2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
