and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
