piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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