I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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