I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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