she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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