either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
