I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize