last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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