Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
