glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
