its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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