i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
do herpes really smell.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
