you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize