I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
