so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
