even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
