Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
